


After everything I've done (You were good to me)

by LiterallyJustAngst



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, BAMF Loki (Marvel), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Other, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyJustAngst/pseuds/LiterallyJustAngst
Summary: Thanos attacks the Statesman but this time, instead of killing Loki, he takes the mage prisoner again.Thor works tirelessly to recover his lost sibling, but the brother he gets back may not be the brother he remembers.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Loki & Thor, Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Avengers Team, Loki & Peter Parker, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Please read the tags! This work may be triggering, so please be careful!
> 
> I always appreciate feedback so please let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Enjoy!

Loki sat next to Thor in bed, periodically brushing his hand over his brother’s closed eyes when he began to stir. A slow pulse of magic soothed the king back to sleep, making sure he would be ready for the next taxing day. 

The mage rested his head on his palm. 

They’d been on The Statesman for roughly one week. Time was harder to track when there was no star to watch.

In that whole week, Loki had slept for only a few hours. About three of those hours had been accounted for in the first night aboard. 

He’d woken up after a crippling nightmare, screaming. He was very grateful for the sound-proof enchantment he’d placed around his room earlier in the day. The jotun had sat in bed sobbing and shaking for hours after, unable to fall asleep. 

After that, the only sleep he’d been able to get was the few minutes he’d get during his down time, forcing himself awake in a cold sweat as soon as the inevitable nightmares began. 

He was absolutely exhausted. 

Excusing himself from his brother’s bedside for a few minutes, he went to splash water on his face. He couldn’t let himself fall asleep.

The mage looked at himself in the mirror, letting the illusion he’d worn wash away. 

Loki almost laughed as he saw himself for the first time in three or four days. 

His eyes were dull and sunken, but gloriously, blessedly green. 

Every time he looked in the mirror since the invasion he had a foolish, icy fear that flooded his veins as he checked to make sure his irises weren’t blue. 

If they were blue, that meant that everything he’d fought for, every second he’d been ‘free’ from Tha- The Mad Titan, was fake. 

He sighed, rubbing at the dark, dark bags under his eyes. Aesir and jotun could live for up to five weeks without sleep. Loki had gone for two weeks now with practically no sleep. 

He knew he should sleep soon, but he wouldn’t be able to sleep much more than an hour anyways. 

Besides, the jotun was busy. He had things to do day in and day out. 

He spent his days with the healers since he was the best healer aboard, or if he wasn’t with the healers he was helping with supplies and civilians. 

At night he wandered around the room he shared with Thor, Valkyrie, and Banner and made sure they were all able to sleep. He would put them to sleep if they couldn’t fall asleep in the first place and he would make sure they would stay deep in their dreams if they began to stir. 

Occasionally one of them would have a nightmare and Loki would have to use a bit more sedir than usual to force their dreams to be more pleasant. 

If only he could do the same for himself, he thought with a dry chuckle. 

Drying his face and hands off, he left the bathroom. 

Sitting back down next to Thor, he brushed light fingers over the aesir’s eyelids, letting a thin film of green magic settle over the other’s face. 

Certain that his brother would stay well and asleep, he moved on to the cot on the other side of the room, settling again when he reached Val’s bedside. 

She whimpered slightly as she slept and Loki furrowed his brows in sympathy. He ran his hand along the valkyrie’s temple, sending soothing green energy to calm her down.

She settled back down, her slightly tensed lips and eyes relaxing again.

He smiled and stood back up.

Suddenly feeling very faint, he leaned against the wall until his head stopped spinning. 

He’d been very dizzy recently, though he attributed it to not eating or drinking nearly enough as much as he did to the lack of sleep. 

Regaining his balance, Loki made his way over to Bruce, also soothing the human with a gentle brush of his hand. 

Settling down next to Thor, the Jotun leaned back against the wall. He knew he was tired and he knew he needed to sleep, but he also knew he wouldn’t be able to. 

So, closing his eyes, he instead decided to meditate and spread his sedir as far as he could to scan the void around the ship for any trace of his eternal pursuers, The Black Order.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accident leads to some issues for Loki.

Twelve days later and Loki still hadn’t slept more than a few hours. 

He wandered through the days like a ghost, spending all his time helping healers and advising Thor. 

What little sedir he could drag from his exhausted core was used either to heal or to maintain the illusions that let him look minimally healthy. 

He barely ate anymore, it made him too nauseous. 

Thor was too busy ruling to really notice anything was wrong. What little time they had together was spent either talking about work or with Loki fretting over Thor’s injuries. 

The aesir refused to get himself checked out by the healers so Loki had taken over healing his eye. 

The eye wouldn’t recover so Loki had to track it’s progress like a normal mortal’s injury.

Leaning against the wall out of sight from everyone, the mage held his head as it pounded. He’d always been prone to headaches, but since he’d fallen from the Bifrost, his headaches had steadily increased to migraines. 

He could almost sob from the pain, it felt like Thor had taken Mjolnir and cracked his skull in half. 

Forcing himself to take deep breaths, he prepared himself to rejoin the others when an explosion rocked the ship. 

For one heart stopping moment, Loki was convinced that The Mad Titan had found them and that he was about to be the reason everyone he cared about died. 

Then, someone from another room shouted, “Accident in the engine room!” and Loki’s knees nearly collapsed under him from relief. 

Instead, he forced his head into a sort of numbness that he adopted whenever he was close to losing control of his mind or body.

He’d always been good at inducing apathy. 

There had been an explosion in the engine room, right.

Running back into the main room, he coughed against the smell of smoke. 

“Is anyone hurt?” He called out over the panic in the hall. 

“There are three injured!” Someone called out from further in the crowd. 

Loki cursed under his breath. 

The healers were mainly composed of trainees and one or two older ones.

He needed to get down to the engine room. 

With a deep breath against the smoke, Loki waved one shaky hand in the sour air and all of the smoke was turned to clean air again. 

He gasped slightly against the painful tug of his sedir in his chest, it was weak from neglect and lack of proper rest and nutrients. 

No matter, the wounded needed his help right now.

He darted through the crowd, thankful that it parted around him. 

Finally reaching the engine room, he snapped to put out the flames that still flickered in one corner, ignoring the pain again. 

The wounded were leaned against another wall, blood pooling on the ground beneath them. 

He rushed to their side, kneeling and ignoring the red staining his clothes. 

He knew his sedir was weakened, and he knew it was dangerous to heal with low sedir, but he didn’t have a choice. 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, he stretched his hands towards the three wounded Asadians. 

Tugging harshly at his incredibly unresponsive magic, he forced a steady flow of green energy to flow onto the wounds. 

Healing was a tedious art, taking much concentration and practice. It involved giving a wounded person some of the healer’s life energy, and it was dangerous even when the healer was at peak health. Most healings took up to four separate mages working at once to properly treat wounds. 

Loki had to heal three people at once with low sedir and alone. 

He could do it, he knew he could. He’d done worse before. That didn’t mean that it wasn’t painful and exhausting. 

Slowly sealing the damage, he began to shake. Black spots appeared in his vision. He needed to finish this, they would die before the healers got here at the rate they were bleeding out. 

With that thought, he tugged sharply at his dying sedir. It hurt like someone was tearing at his organs (something he’d personally experienced during his time on Sanctuary with The Mad Titan). He kept tugging anyways, they needed this more than he did. 

From the commotion behind him, he could tell that Thor and Valkyrie had followed him. He could hear their voices but he couldn’t make out the words. 

They blended together with the roaring in his ears. 

He distantly knew that the illusion he’d so tediously upheld since he began to look less than perfectly healthy was slipping away but he didn’t have the focus to maintain it, much less the sedir to do so. 

Finally, the wounds sealed, leaving no mark to show where the damage had been, not even a scar. The only evidence left was the blood that stained their clothes and the holes where the damage was.

He tried to stand, his ears ringing and heart pounding. 

His legs gave out immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next few chapters may be a bit shorter, sorry!


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares are a bitch.

Loki was chained down to a stone slab, his wrists and ankles rubbed raw by rusty shackles. 

His chest was sliced wide open, and he was completely awake. 

Tears ran down his bruised face as he screamed, his throat raw. 

Shadowy shapes hovered around him, digging around in the open cavity of his torso, moving things around and watching to see how quickly the damaged organs would heal. 

One face was clear, Ebony Maw. The alien hovered over him with a wide grin, tracing lines on his face and arms with those painful needles he so loved to use. 

One shadow tugged sharply at something he couldn’t see in his chest and Loki screamed so loudly he was sure his throat would tear. 

“Lo…”

“L...ki!”

“LOKI!”

The mage darted awake with a scream, tears slipping from his wide, fearful eyes. 

Someone dragged him into a hug and he pushed away for a second before he recognized that buzzing feeling of electricity and that familiar smell of ozone and relaxed. 

He sobbed and shook, wrapping his arms back around Thor and gripping at his shirt as though he would fade away if he wasn’t holding on. 

Thor gripped him back, rocking back and forth and rubbing circles on the jotun’s back like he did when they were kids and Loki had a nightmare. 

The familiar action slowly helped the mage relax and before long he’d almost stopped crying.

“T-Thor, what happened?” Loki winced as his voice cracked. 

Thor pulled away and Loki foolishly wished he could hug his brother again. 

“You passed out after healing the workers in the engine rooms. You’ve been asleep for three hours and then you started screaming. Are you alright, brother?”

Loki curled into a ball on the bed, still shaking a little. 

He didn’t know what to say. How could he describe his dream? How could he explain it if Thor didn’t even know that he’d been tortured in the first place? He just shook his head and curled up tighter. 

Thor’s brows furrowed in concern and he just reached out to pull Loki into another hug. 

The mage didn’t complain. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had physical contact with anyone without cruel intent. 

The closest he’d come to it was with the Grandmaster, but really everything that happened on Sakaar was unwanted. He hadn’t had a choice at the time. It was do what the Grandmaster wanted or die. 

He could almost laugh at the irony. 

The one time he hadn’t chosen to die, and now he knew why that was his usual choice.

It didn’t matter anyways. 

What mattered right now was that The Mad Titan was probably on the way and that he was without a doubt coming for Loki and what Loki held. 

What mattered right now was that he was risking the lives of his people, his friends, his brother, all for the sake of feeling like he wasn’t useless and unwanted. 

It was ridiculous.

If he was less selfish, if he was less of a coward, he would have left ages ago. Taken the tesseract and left Thor to get to earth safe and alive. 

But he was selfish, and he was a coward. Odin had always said so, Thanos had said so. Hell, Thor had said so at least once. So here he sat, in the arms of a brother he didn’t deserve on a ship he was leading to death and living on borrowed time. 

Thor began to rub those steady circles on his back again and Loki realized he was crying again. 

He knew in that moment that he would do anything to protect his people, to protect his brother. And he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to give this up. 

And he hated himself for it.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is a good brother.

When the brothers finally parted, Thor’s face carried a soft smile and a worried glint in his eye. Loki firmly refused to look the aesir in the eye, keeping his face turned down towards the bed.

He was suddenly very aware that his illusion was gone. All of the evidence of his poor health on display. 

The mage pressed his hands into his eyes until he saw stars. 

Looking back at Thor, he was both comforted and annoyed that the aesir looked concerned. 

Looking at his brother, he nearly caved. He was just about ready to burst into tears and tell Thor everything and beg for comfort. 

He knew, though, that if he told the asgardian what he had suffered at the hands of Thanos, the impulsive god would seek out his torturers.

So he held his tongue and fought against the tears stinging at his eyes again.

“Loki...whatever it is, you can tell me. I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you, I promise.”

Damn it, Thor. 

Loki lost the fight against his tear ducts and he began to cry again. 

Thor winced and pulled Loki into another hug.

“Thor, brother, I….I want to- I want to-” he was cut off by another hiccuping sob. The aesir just hugged him a little tighter. 

Finally, Loki managed to stop crying again. He pulled out of his brother’s arms.

“I...I want to tell you, Thor. I do. But I-I can’t. Not yet.” 

The elder god just gave him a comforting smile and gripped his hand. 

“I can wait until you’re ready, brother.”

Loki smiled back. 

Thor could wait, but who knew if Thanos would.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little time skip! This chapter is super super short but the next one will be pretty long!

Loki gasped in pain, placing his hand against his broken and bruised ribs. A bad idea, the pressure made it ache more. His fingers on his right hand were twisted and blackened, broken, most likely. 

His magic was depleted, he knew it. He had only had one day to rest since he’d passed out, not nearly enough to recover. It felt like a painful tugging deep in his chest every time he tried to call upon it. He had enough to either help Thor or heal himself, not both. 

Of course, Loki had never had a very strong sense of self-preservation. Quickly forcing the pain to the back of his mind, he forced himself to walk on his broken leg towards where Thor was laying down. 

Just hearing Maw’s voice was enough to send his heart rate sky-rocketing. Add the image of Thanos to the mix and he was pretty certain that if he wasn’t so good at inducing apathy he would be crying. 

There was no conceivable way for this to end well. 

Thanos had said he would make the mage long for something as sweet as death.

If he didn’t die, Thor would, and Loki already knew what he would prefer. 

Only one way for this to go.


	6. 6

Thor groaned, his voice beaten and weak through the blood in his mouth. He had practically bitten a chunk clean off his tongue, and to say the metallic taste was overwhelming would be an understatement. 

He tried in vain to move his unresponsive limbs. He had been thrown against a wall with more strength than ever before and his limbs had snapped like twigs. They’d already begun to knit themselves back together, thank the norns for clean fractures and for Asgardian Healing, though, from the greenish haze in his vision, he had a sneaking suspicion that the healing was sped up by this brother’s magic.

Maw continued his monologue, though Thor had long since stopped paying attention to it. He put his focus on coming up with a way to get himself and his brother out of this alive. He knew that the people that were still on the ship were dead, other than Heimdall. He was glad that Loki had immediately gone to fetch Valkyrie when the attack had started, the two of them had been able to save about half of the aesir aboard. 

He remembered his brother’s expression when he’d seen the ship and he felt a fresh wave of rage at these monsters. Loki had been so openly terrified. It was heartbreaking to see. And Thor couldn’t help but wonder why Loki seemed to recognize them. 

Right at that moment, however, Thanos picked him up by the front of his armor, the grip making blood slip into his throat and he choked on the taste. 

He heard the Titan speaking, but didn’t really pay attention until he saw his brother. 

To anyone else, Loki would appear impassive, but Thor saw the well masked fear in his eyes, a fear that stretched past this one event.

In a vain attempt to lighten his brother’s gaze (perhaps the blood loss was getting to him), he glanced up at his captor.

“You talk too much…” he rasped, fighting against the blood still welling in his mouth. 

Loki’s gaze flickered to him before darting back up to Thanos. 

“The tesseract,” Thanos continued, “or, your brother’s head.” 

Thor struggled as he brought that infernal stone closer to him. 

“I assume you have a preference?” The titan said.

Loki’s gaze was cold, though the fear was still evident.

“Oh I do.” He hissed, “Kill away.” 

Thor couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed, though the feeling was quickly wiped away by an all consuming pain when the stone was pressed to his skull. 

He screamed, his eye blurring and going dark from the intrusive pressure. 

The pain seemed to last hours, though he knew it was only really a few seconds. The ordeal was abruptly ended when he heard his brother’s voice.

“Alright, stop!” The words were shaky and Thor breathed heavily as his vision cleared. 

“We don’t have the Tesseract,” Thor gasped, “It was destroyed on Asgard.” 

Loki stayed silent and Thor’s heart sank.

He pulled the relic out of one of his dimensional pockets and Thor groaned.

“You really are the worst, brother.”

Loki ignored him, advancing instead.

“I assure you, brother,” Thor couldn’t deny the warmth in his chest, even through the pain, when he heard his sibling call him that, “The sun will shine on us again.”

Thor would have smiled if he thought he could.

“Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.” 

Loki almost smirked, that vicious, hateful expression.

“Well, for one thing, I’m not Asgardian.” Loki paused, “And for another...we have a Hulk.”


	7. 7

Banner roared and Loki dove for Thor as the green monster leapt towards Thanos. 

The Jotun carefully looked over Thor, hands shaking wildly and placed a couple spells to heal him faster. 

Banner roared in the background again and Loki rushed away from Thor, promising he’d come back.

Thor turned his head to see Loki kneeling by Heimdall, whispering urgently and frantically trying to heal him. Heimdall shook his head and Loki stepped back with a defeated expression. He murmured some words and Heimdall nodded. 

Loki began to head back towards Thor when Banner was tossed away.

Thor’s legs and arms had healed completely now, Loki’s spells doing wonders, and he stood and hit the titan with a bar, knowing it wouldn’t cause damage but trying to protect Banner. 

He was thrown away immediately and pinned down with metal. He growled.

Suddenly, Heimdall called upon the Bifrost and sent Banner away. Thor selfishly wished that he’d also sent Loki to safety. 

Thanos stepped closer. 

“That was a mistake.” A spear dove into the man’s chest and Thor screamed. 

“You’re going to die for that!” Thor gasped, his mind still reeling from the loss of one of his oldest friends.

A piece of metal covered his mouth and he again felt a rush of rage.

Maw presented Thanos with the Tesseract and Loki stepped forward from the shadows.

“If I might interject,” The Jotun said, “If you’re going to Earth, you might want a guide.” Thor felt a rush of confusion and betrayal. “I do have a bit of experience in that arena.”

“If you consider failure experience.” 

Loki grimaced.

“I consider experience experience.”

Loki took a deep breath.

“Almighty Thanos, I Loki, Prince of Asgard,” He paused glancing towards Thor, “Odinson,” Thor’s heart stuttered,(‘What was he playing at?’) “The rightful king of Jotunheim, god of mischief.” 

He summoned a dagger and Thor’s heart pounded in his chest. (‘this was a terrible idea…’).

“Do hereby pledge to you...my undying fidelity.” He looked at the ground, taking a deep breath. 

Without a second of hesitation he reached for the titan’s head. The knife was stopped by a blue magic mere inches from Thanos’s throat.

“Undying? You should choose your words more carefully.” He reached out and grabbed the Jotun by the throat, his hand almost comically large in comparison.

Loki clawed at the gauntlet around his neck, gasping and choking. 

“You...will never be...a god.” he choked out, his body going slack from lack of air.

Thor screamed through the gag, tears gathering in his eye.

“No resurrections this time.” was all the titan said before he turned and set the ship on fire, still holding Loki by the throat as his brother clawed at the hand that was slowly killing him. 

He disappeared in a cloud of black and blue smoke. 

The bonds fell away and Thor fell to his hands and knees. 

This was it, he’d lost everything, and he was going to die here.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Guardians enter the picture.

When Thor next awoke, he was on a stranger’s ship, and it was quite a rude wake up.

He gasped and leapt up, his breath coming in short, weak pants. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up like that and for a split second he entertained the idea that the past events were all just a nightmare and if he turned around Loki would be standing behind him with his face locked firmly on amused but his eyes clearly concerned, as they always were recently when Thor got hurt or was ill.

He pushed the thought away, there was nothing for him in daydreams.

Looking briefly past them at the windows of the ship, this wasn’t anywhere near where the Statesmen had met its doom. 

Panic filled him. 

Loki. 

He’d just left Loki in the hands of The Mad Titan.

He had to find him.

He had to.

He swiveled back around and faced the strange mix of crew behind him.

“Where am I?”

The human stepped forward, his posture placating but defensive.

“Hey, calm down, man. Your ship blew up, it’s gone.”

Thor groaned in frustration.

“Yes, I know that.”

The human’s face eased into confusion.

“How did it blow up?”

Thor growled. 

“Thanos. Thanos attacked us. And he took my brother. I need to find him.”

There was a gasp from the green woman. 

“Thanos? If Thanos took your brother he’s dead by now.”

“Gamora! Be nice to the guy!” The human chastised. 

Thor glared at her, his heart stuttering as he firmly refused to believe her.

“Loki is strong, it's only been an hour or two. He isn’t dead.” 

Gamora’s eyes widened with recognition. 

“Your brother is Loki? Wait- Thanos has Loki again!?” She ran a hand through her hair, brows furrowed. “I thought he was dead, how has he escaped my father for this long?” 

Thor paused, absorbing that information. 

-Thanos was Gamora’s father, they didn’t seem close and Thor didn’t have time to focus on that if he wanted to save Loki.  
-Gamora had said ‘again’, meaning that Loki had already been taken by the titan.  
-Gamora knew Loki previously.

“How did you know my brother?” He spoke as a question but his voice held an edge of warning. Gamora winced.

“Loki spent some time on Sanctuary. He’d landed on Titan, though I never knew from where. When I still worked with my father I was one of the many people assigned to torture him.”

Thor’s heart seemed to stop.

“I’m sorry, I do believe I misunderstood you. Did you say that you tortured my brother?” He growled, his voice low and threatening.


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Guardians and Thor talk

After a rushed explanation from Gamora, Thor had decided not to kill her. 

He couldn’t hold back the lightning that ran in quick bolts up and down his arms, and he was almost pleased when he noticed a look of unease from the green alien. 

She had explained very little of the details, just the absolute basics. How long Loki was on Sanctuary, who was assigned to him, and how long it took for him to agree to attack Midgard. 

Now the crew of the small-ish vessel had gathered in a wide semi-circle around the god. 

If they had to be honest, they didn’t think they could take the asgardian in a fight, not in the close quarters of the ship. 

“So? What are we going to do?” Rocket spoke up, sitting on the table with his arms crossed.

“Well, we don’t even know if this guy is still alive…” Quill said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“He is alive. I swear it. And I’d sooner die myself than leave him alone a second longer.” Thor growled. 

Quill raised his hands in a placating gesture. 

“Alright man, I don’t doubt your brotherly affections, but seriously we can’t risk taking on the entirety of Thanos’s fleet for the sake of one person.” The human took a slight step back from the god as his eye flared with electricity. 

Gamora stepped forward. Thor shot her a dangerous glare. 

“Listen, I know I'm probably the last person you want to listen to right now, but I’m the one who knows Thanos the best out of everyone here. He’s going after the stones. If what you’ve told us is true, there are at least two stones on Terra. We have to be logical here.” Thor opened is mouth to object but she spoke again before he could, “We need to stop Thanos’s quest. The safety of the entire damn universe is more important than the safety of your brother.”

Thor couldn’t deny the truth of that statement, but he still bristled with rage. 

“My brother is probably being tortured right now you-” 

Gamora cut him off. 

“I wouldn’t say I exactly got to know your brother well in the time we spent together, but I was often present when The Other would mess with his memories.” Everyone felt a slight burst of static electricity as Thor’s gaze turned murderous, he stayed silent though. “From what I saw, he would flay you alive for going after him with everything going on right now. He would want you to be logical.” 

Thor squeezed his eye shut. She was right, he knew she was right. That didn’t make this any easier. 

“If we’re going to Earth, I’ll need a weapon.” Quill and Gamora breathed sighs of relief at his concession. “We’ll need to go to Nidavellir. Though I doubt they would appreciate all of you coming with, the dwarves are a very private people. I can take at most two.” 

Rocket yelped. 

“Aw hell yeah! Groot and I are going to Nidavellir! Man, I’ve wanted to go to this place since I first heard of it! So many cool weapons…” The racoon dissolved into mutters about weaponry and metal types. 

Thor sighed. 

“So I guess my crew is decided.” He stood and marched towards the escape pod, followed by Rocket and Groot.

“Lets go!” Cheered Rocket. The enthusiasm felt wrong to Thor. 

He had never felt so guilty in his entire life.


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse of Loki's pov.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter has pretty graphic violence so if you don't like that, either skip this one or (probably the better idea) read something else!
> 
> Stay safe guys!

Loki gained consciousness slowly. 

His vision was blurry and his throat ached like he’d swallowed glass, though that was not the worst pain he felt.

His ankles and wrists had huge, metal hooks speared through them, holding him to the cold wall behind him. Blood slid from the wounds and dripped down his arms onto his chest.

For a terrible, disorienting, hopeless second, Loki thought that everything he remembered from the last few years was all made up, and he’d never even left Sanctuary. 

He only calmed down a little after tugging at the hooks, sending sharp, fresh bursts of pain down his arms, bringing him back to focus.

The first thing he noticed when he worked past the initial panic and pain was the fact that he was not in the same cell. The walls here were a different metal, the door was larger, and the room itself had a different layout.

He’d lived in his old cell for a year, so he recognized the difference easily.

The next thing he noticed was that his wounds from that year were healed. Thanos would never let any of the wounds he gave Loki close without a significant amount of new ones being inflicted.

With this information, Loki was certain that he had just been recaptured.

For another panic ridden second, Loki wondered if Thor had also been captured. 

Reaching out with his already incredibly weakened sedir was probably a bad idea, as he wouldn’t have enough to defend himself, but he acted without thinking, fueled by his worry.

Looking as far as he could in the ship, he found no trace of the electric, buzzing, static feeling that was his brother.

He almost started crying, though from fear and pain or from relief that Thor was safe, he wasn’t sure. 

The door to the cell opened and his heart nearly stopped as Ebony Maw entered the room.

“Ah, Loki. It’s been far too long. Aren’t you glad to be home?” 

The jotun, enraged and terrified, forgot everything they had beaten into him last time, and spat at the alien’s feet.

Maw’s eyes narrowed and he flicked a finger to tug on the chains that were attached to the hooks.

Loki bit back a scream and the metal tore into his flesh more.

“F-Fuck you.” He gasped out. 

Maw’s face twisted into a snarl and with a wave of his hand he raised a huge metal spike and drove it straight into Loki’s stomach. 

This time, the mage wasn’t able to keep from crying out and he screamed, a shrill, raw noise. Blood rose into his mouth and he gagged.

This was The Children of Thanos’ favorite game. Loki, thanks to his sedir, was able to heal from wounds no other living being could without medical attention. They loved to test his limits. Driving screws, hooks, blades, and everything else you could think of into his chest and stomach and watching how fast he healed. They even removed his tongue or limbs a few times. 

Maw grinned and loosened the chains that were holding him up, making him slump until all of his body weight was held on the spike in his gut. Loki gurgled as more blood rose to his mouth and he whimpered through the metallic taste. 

Maw smiled so wide it looked like his face might split and he pulled the chains taught again and Loki screamed louder than ever as the hooks tore at his flesh and the spike shifted again. 

Tears sprang to his eyes and he gasped for breath as blood dripped down his chin.

“I’ll return later, maybe then you’ll be more agreeable.” Maw said, turning around and leaving Loki gasping and crying. 

Loki had not called out for his brother in years. The main focus of Thanos when he’d first got his hands on him after the fall through the void was to convince Loki that he was never being saved. The titan had been right in the long run, but for the first three months of his imprisonment, Loki had sobbed and begged for Thor, for Frigga, hell, he’d even begged for Odin. Anyone to save him.

Nobody ever came. 

Now, Loki wept as the torture he thought he’d escaped from returned it’s cold claws into him. 

“T-Thor...please...please don’t l-leave me a-alone here…” He sobbed, throat raw from screaming and the bruising that wrapped his neck in the shape of a huge hand. 

He finally passed out from the pain, grateful for oblivion.


End file.
